By AMES FLAMES
LOS ANGELES – As you know I did a show with Bobsled that had The Muffs, Sluts For Hire and the Bianca-fronted Butt Trumpet. As it worked out I would roadie for all of these bands before the year was out.
This story is about Sluts For Hire. This band was so much fun. They started as a joke band with tongue firmly in cheek. It was a side project that had Leaving Trains members in it. They all dressed up crazy cool. Sometimes they would come up with outlandish costumes for one show. Flashy clothes. Lots of attitude and comedy. It was full speed punk rock done by very capable people. Add glitter, silly string, and balloons. Then a slice of Disneyland. That’s it, SFH!
I always enjoyed watching them play. The stage was pure chaos. Guitars unplugging, skating bass drum, fallen cymbals and mics, and clearing debris. That was my job, keep the chaos going. Because I was there they could go full power knowing someone was there who had their backs.
Before I came in the band started with Miss Koko Puff/Sherri Puder on guitar and vocals, Dinky/Ringo Moon/Dennis Carlin on drums and vocals, June Swoon/Falling James on guitar and vocals, and Boo Supah Star/Wendy McConnell on bass and vocals. They released a 3-song 7-inch. Except for Wendy, the others were in the Leaving Trains and next months story is about them. Falling James and Wendy left the band and Awful K’nawful/Sam Soto on guitar and vocals, and Bitzy Bop/Joanna Harrington on bass. This lineup would record the band’s only CD, “The Happiest Band On Earth,” an obvious nod to Disneyland. It is a really good CD. Great playing and singing mixed with lyrics that most likely wouldn’t get you radio airplay. In other words, they were going to do what they wanted.
Some of the songs were “Stop-N-Stare,” people always did, “The Happiest Song On Earth” about an “experience” with a mouse at Disneyland, and “GBG” meaning Girl Band Geek about guys who stalk girl bands, to name a few.
My first show with them was at the end of a tour they just completed. I got in contact with Dennis and arranged it. A girl who went by the name of Bunni Hawp//Qunicy Pearson on bass due to Bitzy leaving the band before the tour. Dennis was dressed as a Twister Board, and Sam was a wrapped present. It was Sherri’s B Day Show. It was my job to light the m80’s on the cake while they were playing. The cake exploded and went everywhere. The crowd loved it, so did I. Oh yeah, i want to do this.
My next show had new bassist Cherry Maraschino/Melanie Coffe. This is the lineup that stuck and this is where I come in. Sherri was a great front person. Her voice was like a punk rock Betty Boop at times, and raging at other times. Always dressed in something with sparkle and wild colored hair. She was sexy and snotty. She was comfortable on stage and knew how to talk between songs. Even I was cuckoo for Koko Puff. She also played rhythm guitar. Sam played lead guitar and dressed gothy and jumped around crazy while playing. His guitar gave the bands sound calamity. He also sang a few songs as well. Dennis had the hardest job, playing the fast-paced drums all set although he made it look easy. Sometimes he played so fast I couldn’t see the sticks. He too sang some songs. He was also hilarious.
Melanie dressed up as well and played her bass part perfectly. She did backup vocals too. Later on she would lead sing a song. Her and Sherri would engage each other playing around while playing. On stage the music was great, but visually it was sight, and the lyrics were funny. The sets were intense with the band raging around the stage knocking things over and unplugging guitars. I was on red alert the entire set. They had a look and a sound. They had songs. They had a following. They were a hyperactive runaway train on stage. Maybe it is another case of the name being contract kill or the profanity in the lyrics. I think what mattered is that this was the band they wanted to make. And I was happy to be part of the team.
As the band gained popularity they would get pick of the night or week in the LA Weekly. They also got the Flippy Award from Flipside Magazine for best new band. We did a 2-day video shoot for the song “Ice Cream Truck” but no one has ever seen the footage. In LA they were well known, but outside of LA is always a challenge. We mostly did LA shows. I think it is a certain accomplishment to have a following in the LA market. Stars in the land of the Stars.
The enthusiastic fans fueled the bands fire. It wasn’t a slam pit, it was more like a consensual wrestling match. A fun for all. This would further encourage the band to kick it up. Getting ready for the show was a part of it, Getting dressed up and doing make up. We always had a good time especially when Dennis was cracking jokes. By set time we were fully charged and ready to go. The party had already started. Now turn them on and put them on stage in front of a crowd and the party continues. Afterwards we would laugh about what happened on stage and what funny stuff people in crowd did. For me it was more fun than money could buy, and I had the best seat in the house. They were glitter rock punks. Even I colored my hair.
At Sunset Junction, back when it was actually about presenting local talent, Sam broke a string, then Dennis’s bass drum leg broke and his petal wouldn’t lock into place anymore. I laid on my side, held the bass drum leg in place with one hand, and slide my other hand under the petal, my skinny fingers just made it. Dennis was afraid it would crush my hand. I screamed at him, “Effing Play”! I think I held it for three songs.
Going on the road the few times we did were an adventure, comedy and tragedy. We did a 5-show run for SXSW and used Falling James’ van. Dennis brought a cb and he became Big Saul and his Big RV. He used a Woody Allen like voice and claimed that his wife would cook truckers a home cooked meal. We are north on the 10. But the 10 is east and west. We are carrying a load of beer, lollipops, and cuckoo clocks. Can I give my dog vodka if he is thirsty? It just didn’t stop. We did Las Vegas and the next day we went to the hard Rock and Sam knocked a Cramps framed poster off the wall. Then I forgot my Mom’s ashes in a charm at the hotel. We stopped at Bedrock City, it was shut down at the time but there was a pay phone so I could call the hotel. We went to the Grand Canyon, picked up my Mom’s ashes, and went to Albuquerque. The next day we checked out Old Town, visited my Grandparents, then do the show.
The next day in our travels we bought fireworks and make it to Austin for SXSW. It was at Emo’s and lots for LA friends were there. Sam, Melanie and I cruised 6th Street in total SFH fashion. Then the show. With friends there it was like playing in LA. Next we drive to Carlsbad and get this weird room with three beds in it. We had just crashed out and suddenly four light orbs came out of the wall, cruised over each bed, and went out through the wall on the other side. The next day they go to Carlsbad Caverns. I stayed with the van and the gear in the parking lot. Then off to Santa Fe, another fun show. We decide to drive after the show. We broke down. Sherri has a primitive cell phone and it was losing power. We got through to AAA but didn’t know if they heard where we were, the phone died. So we lit fireworks off hoping someone would see because there were no cars on the road. The flatbed showed up.
All us guys had to ride in the van on the flatbed. Yikes. The next day it gets fixed and we head toward San Diego. Then we stall again and I get someone to jump us. We make it to the outskirts of Deming and the van dies again. We had to walk through town with our luggage to a hotel. The mechanic got parts in the morning and the van was fixed again. We drove all day and make it in time to San Diego. After I get dropped at home and the go home. 5 shows, 10 days, and two breakdowns, as well as the sight-seeing we did.
NXNW was just two shows. In Portland we stayed with a friend. We left our luggage and went out and about for a bit. When we got back he wasn’t there and we were locked out. So we went to the club and they went out to find something to wear. Our last road trip was to San Francisco for two shows. First was a club show with our friends Bimbo Toolshed. Melanie got rained out at LAX so the band went on as a 3 piece with Sam playing bass. That night I was a devil horned go go boy for Bimbo Toolshed. The next day was historic. We were opening for X. This was their first reunion show. It was 2 shows, and early show and a late show. We were the opener for the late show.
While setting up merch Exene came by and noticed my OG X armband. Then a handful of us got to witness X’s six song soundcheck. A private show. I did take some pics. I watched both X sets. Little did I know Sam and I would be working with Exene soon, and that’s another story to come. The SFH set was their finest hour. The crowd loved it. So did John Doe. So when X played the second show, John Doe came out wearing a polkadot shirt and had some glitter in his hair. He explained after seeing SFH he was inspired.
Unfortunately it proved to be Melanies’ final show. Bitzy returned and did a few shows as well as my benefit show in 2002. It was a SFH reunion. Like The Muffs, Donnie Popejoy announced them often as well as this night. This era also saw them on The Mr. Bill Show. They were Johnny Putrid and the Projectiles, Mr. Bills noisey neighbors. The episode concludes with a live shot from Spaceland. I am in my roadie spot. Mr. Bill ends up in the pit and gets empaled on a pointed mohawk.
I did 56 shows with SFH. The band ended. So Sherri and Dennis started a band with Melanie Vammen on guitar and Andrew Buscher on bass. They were in the Leaving Trains at the time. The new band was called Pointy Kitty, a Simpsons reference. A band of all Leaving Trains alum. They unfortunately never released a legit CD, just a self-made burned cd with 6 songs. It was a really good band but it was short lived. I think it was really for the fun of it and lets see what happens. They all liked playing together, it was like a family thing. They existed in 2000 and 2002 for the most part. I did 11 of their 20 shows. The shows were fun like SFH. The band ended in 2003, Melanie was pregnant. I wish the band would have done more but that is how it goes. Still worth my time.
For me it becomes routine to deal with each member once I know how they want things. When you are in a van with a band it becomes a family with a common goal that depends on each individual contribution to the situation. I knew exactly what I need to do to be part of the team.
I was always considered a secret weapon or the invisible fifth member within the circle. This is true with many of my bands. I wasn’t just moving gear anymore, it had evolved to so much more. I created my job and the rules I would follow. I did have rules I placed on myself. I enjoyed my spot and I contributed.I rolled with the punches, each band is different. I was the Necessary Evil, Ames Evil. My SFH name was Donkeyboy Lampwick, another obvious Disney reference. It may not exist any more. but I did get to live it.
I could tell so many more stories but I am glad I am able to tell the story of the bands I worked with. It helps preserve their history and well as mine. As usual this is my opinion and I am not speaking for the band members in any way. You would have to ask them what it was to them. Next month you will read more about most of these folks in my Leaving Trains story. See you then.
Read more Ames Flames columns here.
Check out a ‘Sluts For Hire’ playlist here: